The World According to Mom

Amanda:  "Mom,  babies come right outta your heart when they are born and that is why it hurts so bad, right?"

Me: "Yep, and when the baby comes out, it's like your heart is walking around outside your body."

Kevin (out shopping with me): "Mom, I am tired; I just wanna wait in the car for you."

Me: "You can't, I'm sorry, babe......you see, if you were an ugly child, I would let you hang out here in the car all by yourself.  BUT unfortunately, you are too cute to be out here all alone; I just know someone will steal you.  So, you'll have to go in with me."

Kevin: "Fine, I suppose I will...but, can we look at toys?"

Me: "Sure, but we are JUST looking."

Amanda (walks in my room after I have put her in bed, like, six times):  "Mom, Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry honey, I already share the bed with Daddy and it would be too crowded if you sleep in here with us, too".
Amanda: "But, it's not fair; YOU get to have a sleepover every night!!!"
Me (walking her back to her room): "Okay, here's the deal....There are three rooms in this house.  Daddy and I are being VERY generous to let you and Kevin have your own rooms AND your own beds.  There aren't enough rooms in this house for all of us to have our own rooms; so, Mommy and Daddy HAVE to share.  ..And Daddy steals the covers!!  You have your own bed ALL to yourself -- you are soo lucky." 
Amanda: "Oh."
Me: "Goodnight."


**This concludes this edition of the World According to Mom.